We went in knowing that we wouldn't exactly like what we saw... but prayed that God gave us the strength to stay strong and learn as much as we could and accept what we could not change. We were seated in the breast-feeding room while we waited for the nurse who was giving us the tour to be ready. We sat down next to a woman who I'm assuming was a mother... and she was shaking. Which didn't help my nerves at all. But mainly, I just felt sad for her. I wanted to ask if she was okay and comfort her... but wasn't sure how. Our nurse Caroline came in and introduced herself and our tour started.
Here is what we found out:
- After Noah's spine surgery he will be put in a private "pod" room because the doctors will still be seeing him frequently.
- The "pod" rooms are where the NICU newbies go because they require more attention.
- The nurse showed us all of the monitors, wires, ventilators, and IV hook ups he might need.
- The incubator he will be in will allow us to touch him through the side holes while he's recovering.
- Once he "graduates" from the pod room he'll join what they call "newborn row".
- Newborn row is literally what it sounds like... a row full of sick little babies. Some had lights on them for Jaundice, others in casts, some had feeding tubes and oxygen tents. Some were just so tiny.
- The Mothers all looked drained. Emotionally and physically. There were some feeding their babies but mainly just staring at their little ones. So many helpless newborns.. Ugh.
- The nurse showed us a baby with just about the same set up that Noah will have. He was a full term chubby pink little baby. Since Noah will be full term he most likely won't need a breathing tube, but he'll be in a plastic tent with an oxygen tube on top to allow extra oxygen. The baby was laying on his side. (Noah will be on his tummy until his back heals) But she showed us all of the positioning pillows they'll use to ensure he doesn't accidentally roll over while healing. This baby had monitors and IVs in his arm. Much like they are expecting for Noah.
- I'll be able to breast-feed. I've read that some women find it too difficult to ONLY pump (and have no actual contact) with their first baby and sometimes they can't produce milk... but since I've already showed signs of being able to the nurse said it shouldn't be a problem. Which is awesome.
- We'll be able to see Noah whenever we want. The NICU is available to us 24/7. We get to designate 4 people who will be allowed to see Noah without us or our consent. Right now Steven and I have decided it would be my Mom, Sister, Grandma, and Steven's father. Only two people will be able to enter at a time.
- They're expecting at least 2-3 weeks in the NICU for us depending on how well his surgery goes and if he'll need a shunt (and no other complications of coarse). If so it will be longer. The longest stay I've heard of is 6-8 weeks.
I made it to the parking lot before the tears came.
I constantly tried to remind myself that all of these babies would be fine. Noah would be fine. I need to be thankful that we're not expecting a healthy baby, that we know why hat we're dealing with, and that all of those scary wires and tubes would HELP Noah.
But I still couldn't shake the fact that it is just sad. Why couldn't God make all of those babies healthy? It was just a lot to take in at once. I felt so many emotions at once, and I'm sure hormones didn't help. I know we can do this... and we are strong enough. Now that I've had my breakdown I feel much better about it. Accepting is the hardest part. But it does happen and I hope every woman who's child is diagnosed in utero gets the chance to visit their NICU too, it really helps.
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