September 25th (AKA Noah's New Birthday)

This is the official day our son Noah Tucker will be born. I'll be 38 weeks along and our little guy will be full term and hopefully ready to greet the world. The closer it comes to this date.. the more anxious I get. Not just anxiety anxious either. Happy anxious. Excited anxious. Although anxiety has been a big thing for me during this pregnancy because of all the complications. It's been a real learning experience for me to control it and not be so nervous all the time. Thinking about Noah's birth makes me want to sing, cry, dance, and throw up all at the same time. I've read blogs, researched, read articles, everything. And yet I'll be the first to admit that I'm not sure what to expect exactly. I know all the medical terms and surgeries and technical aspects of his condition and birth process... but who knows what could happen. Things could change and further complications could arise. Everyone's experience is different and I think about what our experience is going to be like all the time.  

ONE MONTH.  

That's all we have. His nursery is ready, clothes are ready, everything. I need to finish packing my hospital bag and Noah's lungs need to mature completely but then he'll officially have my permission to come out. Not on his own though. No surprise entrances from this little guy hopefully! I'm the type of person who likes to stick to a plan. I need schedules, lists and agendas to function. Hopefully Noah feels the same and this can be a mutual agreement between the two of us. September 25th by C-Section and not a moment sooner :)

I wonder what he is going to look like. I've said this often, but besides the bubble on his back he's going to (hopefully) look and act just like every other sweet baby. I bet he has a dark thick full head of hair and a cute little button nose like Steven. I also bet he has Steven's beautiful big lips. Pretty much I just want a baby that looks like Steven apparently. Haha. No.. I hope he looks like me too. But honestly, as long as I made a baby with all the right organs and fingers and just overall body parts.. I'll be happy. He could be the silliest looking little thing I've ever seen and I promise you I'd still be madly in love with him.

I just can't believe how close we are to meeting this little guy. I've thought about him more than I've ever thought about anyone (sorry Steve) and now everything that I've thought about is becoming a reality. All of the hopes and dreams and worries and wonders I've had about little Noah are about to be revealed. We'll officially know the severity of his condition. We'll get to finally put a beautiful face to this little angel we've dreamed of for so long.

It all seems so surreal.