He's falling behind in milestones.
Yesterday a friend of mine posted a picture of her child standing and cruising, another mom posted one a few days earlier of her baby crawling. They're the exact same age as Noah. And I mean down to the same exact DAY. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces. It feels like as soon as I learn to accept one challenge that we go through another appears and brings me back down to reality. I will never be able to take a picture of Noah crawling or standing or walking. NEVER. Sure maybe with braces he'll stand. But it won't be the same. Noah still can't sit up and it's starting to hit me that he may never be able to sit unsupported. His back is weak and he just folds in half everytime. He get's so frustrated because he tries to do these things and his body won't let him and he doesn't understand why. I love him more than anything in this entire world and to see him struggle is the hardest thing I've ever gone through.
Noah held his head up at the right milestone, he even hit the milestone for rolling. But now he's behind. And no matter how much I work with him it'll never change. He's coming up on milestones that are impossible for him to achieve. It's hard. I can't even find the words to describe how hard this is. I feel like nobody understands. Nobody ever reaches out to me and asks how I'm doing with things. So here I am saying that I'm struggling a little bit right now. I can look at healthy children and not get sad anymore. Even as young as a 1 year old. That was a big step for me. But now I have to learn to deal with something even harder. Noah is a wonderful little baby and I love him more than life itself. I know he'll make it all okay. I just can't help but feel down sometimes. I really wish I had someone to talk to who understood. Sigh. Vent over.
As a mom of an almost 8 year old with SB, I can tell you that it will be okay. I know how much your heart hurts right now, I've been there. But it will be okay. It took Caleb FOREVER to hold up his head, to roll over, and I swear I thought the child would never be able to sit up. He was almost 16 months old before he could sit up on his own! Noah will get there, not as fast as you would like but he will get there. And you can always "talk" to me, I understand. :)
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