September 25th (AKA Noah's New Birthday)

This is the official day our son Noah Tucker will be born. I'll be 38 weeks along and our little guy will be full term and hopefully ready to greet the world. The closer it comes to this date.. the more anxious I get. Not just anxiety anxious either. Happy anxious. Excited anxious. Although anxiety has been a big thing for me during this pregnancy because of all the complications. It's been a real learning experience for me to control it and not be so nervous all the time. Thinking about Noah's birth makes me want to sing, cry, dance, and throw up all at the same time. I've read blogs, researched, read articles, everything. And yet I'll be the first to admit that I'm not sure what to expect exactly. I know all the medical terms and surgeries and technical aspects of his condition and birth process... but who knows what could happen. Things could change and further complications could arise. Everyone's experience is different and I think about what our experience is going to be like all the time.  

ONE MONTH.  

That's all we have. His nursery is ready, clothes are ready, everything. I need to finish packing my hospital bag and Noah's lungs need to mature completely but then he'll officially have my permission to come out. Not on his own though. No surprise entrances from this little guy hopefully! I'm the type of person who likes to stick to a plan. I need schedules, lists and agendas to function. Hopefully Noah feels the same and this can be a mutual agreement between the two of us. September 25th by C-Section and not a moment sooner :)

I wonder what he is going to look like. I've said this often, but besides the bubble on his back he's going to (hopefully) look and act just like every other sweet baby. I bet he has a dark thick full head of hair and a cute little button nose like Steven. I also bet he has Steven's beautiful big lips. Pretty much I just want a baby that looks like Steven apparently. Haha. No.. I hope he looks like me too. But honestly, as long as I made a baby with all the right organs and fingers and just overall body parts.. I'll be happy. He could be the silliest looking little thing I've ever seen and I promise you I'd still be madly in love with him.

I just can't believe how close we are to meeting this little guy. I've thought about him more than I've ever thought about anyone (sorry Steve) and now everything that I've thought about is becoming a reality. All of the hopes and dreams and worries and wonders I've had about little Noah are about to be revealed. We'll officially know the severity of his condition. We'll get to finally put a beautiful face to this little angel we've dreamed of for so long.

It all seems so surreal.

Last week = Failed Non-Stress Test & Emergency Ultrasound

Last Tuesday we had our very first weekly appointment. This should be exciting because it means that Noah will be here soon and we are entering the final stage of this pregnancy, however it isn't so much exciting as it is (ironically) stressful to me.

So here begins my rant about Noah failing his non-stress test:

A non-stress test is a non-abrasive test to monitor baby's heart rate and fetal movement and any contractions the mother may be having. They want to see that as baby moves their heart rate goes up. Just like an adult's does when exercising. Moving is the baby's only real form of physical activity in the womb and should "stress" them a little. Seems simple enough, right?

Noah's heart rate was a good steady 155 beats per minute. Which is within a normal range. They wanted his heart beat to increase by 10 bpm while moving and decrease while not moving by 10 bpm. They gave him 20 minutes to complete the test.

Now here is the part that kind of upsets me:

When I went into labor and delivery triage for decreased fetal movement they strapped the two monitors to my stomach VERY TIGHTLY. Noah didn't like having something squishing his tummy space and kicked and hit and rolled like a mad baby trying to get it away from him- which increased his heart rate. They saw the right increase at the hospital whenever I went in.

At this appointment they claimed to have no straps tight enough to fit my stomach? Even though my stomach is large enough for my body and Noah, the nurse claimed I was "too petite" to use real straps. So instead they gave me a mesh tube like thing to place around my stomach to hold the two monitors in place. She started the machine to pick up his heart beat and nothing. She pressed down harder on my stomach with the monitor and boom. There was his heart beat. Turns out this mesh thing was also too big. So I ended up having to hold it myself so it picked up his heart.

I don't think me pressing did ANYTHING to effect him. At triage it made him so upset. So he had very few movements and yep..failed the test.

NON-RESPONSIVE

Yep... that's what they labeled him. I honestly just don't think he was awake and even if he was he wasn't really being provoked to move. They buzzed him with a buzzer that scared the living daylight out of the little guy and made him jump all the way across my tummy. His heart rate increased and he moved away from the sound but then they were dissapointed that it didn't stress him out very much. After only a few moments he was right back to his solid 155 bpm.

Obviously the only one stressed during this appointment was me.

My biggest issue? He has SPINA BIFIDA. He doesn't kick. Barely moves his legs on ultrasound. What makes you think he should be able to move like a baby without Spina Bifida? What if it's harder for him to move from one side on the womb to another? I was told that SB baby's are often given some leeway because they have a harder time with movements. He still hiccups and rolls all the time... but this nurse made it seem like he was just so abnormal for not moving on command.

We were then sent in for an emergency Ultrasound to make sure his umbilical cord wasn't wrapped around his neck or anything to further restrict his movements. This was his second test.

He only had 30 minutes to:

• Roll completely 
• Practice breathing for 20 seconds
• Fully extend his arms 
• Open his hands 
• Show an increasing heart rate with movement & decreasing with rest

He needed:

• Enough amniotic fluid 
• His cord to be transporting nutrients

When the ultrasound started Noah was kicked back relaxing with his arms behind his head. Total lounging position. What a goof ball. The ultrasound lady wasn't the lady we've always had. Since it was an emergency ultrasound we had to go to the Smith Glenn building of Mercy to have it done in time.  This lady was older and seemed very nice. She cracked up at the fact he was relaxing so much and said, "No wonder he failed, this baby is as relaxed as can be!" She laughed and joked and made me feel much less anxious.

She then pointed out his little toes wiggling.

Which brought on more anxiety because I know he won't be able to wiggle them on his own outside of the womb. It's a very bitter-sweet sight. It's hard to look and know you'll never really see your baby do that other than now. But it's nice to at least be able to see it once.

I calmly mentioned that it didn't mean he'd be able to move his feet or legs though. She looked at me puzzled.. I guess she didn't read our chart that said Noah had Spina Bifida. She must have not known very much about Spina Bifida because even knowing his lesion level she said "Oh no, this little boy will be able to move his legs. Just look at him go."

Which brought a temporary false sense of joy and hope to me. I say temporary because I know deep down I have to be more realistic than that. I think having hope is good, but being realistic and expecting the worst is a smarter, safer way to be. I don't want to get so excited and start picking out a bouncer for the little guy only to be heartbroken whenever his sweet little legs have no motion behind them and now I'm left with a different reality than what I had expected.

We then looked over to the screen to see Noah sucking on his toes. What a strange little being inside of me. He's very flexible due to the Spina Bifida and I guess if your delicious looking little toes are floating close to your face it makes sense to reach out, grab one and suck on it. He's definitely a charismatic little guy already. This is the same baby that gave us a good old thumbs up during his anatomy ultrasound (coincidentally the same ultrasound SB was found.) At least he already has a good sense of humor.

Back to the test though...

By grabbing his feet to suck on them he extended his arms- check.
He also opened his hands to grab his foot- check
Enough amniotic fluid- check
Rolled over and had lots of movement- check
Cord was doing it's job- check
Breathing movements- NONE.

This little stinker didn't want to practice breathing for the ultrasound lady. We were 20 minutes in and nothing. Oh goodness. We were sure he would fail this test too. What would that have meant from there? Surprise hospital visit? THEN... 10 minutes before his test was up.. he practiced breathing. The little rocking motion of his body helped him pass his test. Obviously Noah doesn't want to play by anyone else's rules but his own. But I'm so thankful he decided to finally cooperate.

The ultrasound lady gave him his first A+ on his test and we were sent home with some sweet new pictures of the little guy. He already has hair AND fat rolls. Goodness. This little boy sure is something.. and he's not even here yet. What a crazy, eventful journey this will be.

Tomorrow we have our second non-stress test and a less tedious ultrasound. We're praying that he passes with flying colors this time. And I may cheat a little and have some soda or sweet tea before just to make sure he's good and awake for them ;)

By the end of the day Steven and I ended up laughing and joking and saying things to my tummy like:

"It's okay Noah.. Mommy isn't a very good test taker either."
"But at least you ended up with an A."
"So no excuses your whole life.. You were an A student in the womb. We expect nothing less.. "
"Study harder next time."
"But it's okay, we're proud of you."

Being a parent makes you say some crazy things... and like I said, Noah isn't even here yet. Parenthood is going to be a blast ;) 

33 Weeks

Sorry I haven't updated lately. Not much to write about. I started subbing for work last week and I absolutely LOVE it. I've missed all of the people and children. Since it's a new school year there are a ton of new little ones too and it's great getting to know new kids and parents.

At first I was so busy trying to get back into the swing of things that I didn't think about Noah and his diagnosis.. which was my biggest worry. About halfway through the week when things calmed down a little I started comparing his life to other children's and it made me a little sad. But then he would move or hit and my love for him made me completely forget all about it. He makes me so happy and proud everyday.

By the end of the week I started realizing all of the things the children at work were enjoying while sitting down. We did a lot of coloring and play-dough and puzzles.. all of which are fun and don't require standing. It was nice to catch myself being more positive. This was the perfect time for me to go back to work because I've accepted everyting and bonded with this little guy so much that even though it's hard to see other children do things he can't.... it doesn't matter because he is special and wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing about him already.

I'm subbing again tomorrow and Tues/Thurs. It's nice to have something to do and feel important. I'm actually excited and appreciative of getting time to come in.

I'm starting to have some Braxton Hicks Contractions that aren't brought on by anything.. really makes me realize how close we are to meeting him.

8 Month Ultrasound Update

Our ultrasound actually went pretty good! His fluid on his brain is the same as last month and his bubble hasn't gotten bigger. His feet haven't clubbed yet either. Which is awesome! :) He does have a little heart problem though :( Sometimes his heart will beat twice instead of once. Our doctor said 85% of babies around this age have it and not to worry yet. He might grow out of it before he's born. If not he'll need a heart monitor once he's born until he grows out of it.. We now have weekly appointments to check his heart. There's always something huh? :( But it could be much worse so we're just glad we heard some good news! My high risk specialist is going to let me deliver at 39 weeks now instead of 37.. Which is awesome! I want to cook him for as long as possible :) We even set up a day! His birthday will be October 2nd :) She said if I go into labor before then she's going to have me try to deliver vaginally even. He's doing really good considering everything fighting against him. We're so proud of our little miracle baby :) God is so great.. He really answered our prayers! I'm one happy Mama today!!

Ultrasound Tomorrow Morning

Since we had all of our big appointments in the beginning of July it feels like forever since we've had any appointments. Honestly it's been really nice. I've been able to forget about something else being wrong with Noah and just enjoy being pregnant. I've appreciated all of this down time. But all good things of coarse have to come to an end and tomorrow we will be back at our doctors office.

For our 7 month ultrasound the receptionist scheduled it too soon and things hadn't changed much from his 6 month ultrasound... Most likely because it hadn't been very long since his 6 month one. So we're pretty nervous for this one. He's had almost 2 months to get worse. I know that there is nothing we can do about him getting worse.. Its just hard to hear.

If you'd like..please keep our little guy in your prayers tonight. We need for him to start stabilizing.. Yet he just keeps getting worse slowly.

We're praying that:

-The fluid on his brain hasn't accumulated and gotten worse.

-That his "bubble" on his back remains intact and hasn't built up fluid either.

-Also that his bubble hasn't grown or changed in size dramatically.

-That his feet have not clubbed.

Clubbed feet are fixable with surgery.. But it would just be ONE more surgery for Noah to go through and preferably we don't want that. :(

-That he is still on track for length and weight.

-That no more health problems have arrived.

I say it all the time, if Spina Bifida is his only health condition then I will be so glad. So many other things could go wrong as well and we feel blessed that so far this is it.

We love our little guy so much. I really hope tomorrow goes well. Hopefully we'll figure out based on his health where to go from here. Maybe we'll figure out a week for delivery and talk about things like that. I really hope so. I'll post a blog tomorrow about what we've found out.

Noah's Nursery Update

Here are some pics of his room with all of the baby shower presents in it :)

10 Weeks since Noah's Diagnosis- Reflection

Ten Weeks

It's been ten weeks since I hit the half-way point in this pregnancy. This blog post is more of a recap for myself. So much has changed in the past ten weeks. It feels like it's flown by but at the same time it really doesn't. Week 20-23 drug on and everyday was absolutely unbearable. Once we hit week 25 we were completely sure about continuing the pregnancy. Since the diagnosis life has changed so much. We went from being devastated and heartbroken to finding joy in this pregnancy again and appreciating every moment. Now we are at week 32 and anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little miracle baby boy, Noah.

Week 20

I thought that my 20 week anatomy ultrasound was going to be one of the greatest, most memorable moments of my life. A day we would never forget. From that moment on we would know if we were having a sweet baby boy or beautiful baby girl. I'm not a person who remembers certain dates very well... but it was May 22nd. It sticks in my mind because I was counting down to that day for what felt like forever. I also happened to be right. It was a day that would become one of the most memorable moments of my life. Just not in the way I had expected.

Having a healthy child seems so easy. I've worked in both a preschool and a daycare. Everyday we are surrounded by children who can walk, play, laugh, and run and nobody thinks twice about it. Very few times will you see someone with down-syndrome or in a wheelchair in public. It just isn't that common. I think it tends to slip people's minds that things like this happen because it's just not something typically seen everyday. If you are expecting a child, people assume it's going to be healthy. Most children are healthy so why wouldn't yours be?

This was my train of thought up to this point. Having always been surrounded by healthy children I never thoughts the odds of me having one too would not be in my favor. I've never been over-weight, I don't indulge in sweets, I'm active, and everyone in my family is healthy. Plus the simple fact that healthy babies are born everyday.

Mother's Intuition? 
 
Even though I figured my child would be healthy... I think I subconsciously I knew towards the end that something was wrong. Maybe.. but maybe not. People say I worry too much. I say that people who don't worry about anything at all are idiots. But looking back I think I really just knew something was up. Up to this point I figured everything was okay..but the closer the ultrasound got the more I started to have doubts.

The day of our 20 week ultrasound I remember saying that I regretted inviting a lot of people to my appointment because I wouldn't know how to react if they found out something was wrong in front of my friends and family. I was so nervous when the ultrasound started that my face got really hot and I felt like I was going to pass out right on the table. I excused myself to the bathroom and lied and said I just really had to pee.. but in reality I sat on the bathroom floor and tried to gather myself and breathe. I sat and prayed aloud to God that everything would be routine and normal. A healthy baby. I told him I didn't care about the sex of the baby. I just wanted it to be healthy. I decided that I was just being silly and that everything was fine and went back to the room. I wasn't even really sure why I had done that? I blamed being nervous. But really I think I already knew something was wrong.

Spina Bifida

As everyone knows, Noah was diagnosed at 20 weeks with Spina Bifida. Two words that I absolutely loathe. Two simple words that can mean so much. Spina Bifida means "open spine". But in my own translation... it means "Here is a list of all of the things your child will no longer be able to do". My world was absolutely shattered. I've never been more overwhelmed in my entire life. Doing research just made things worse. I had never heard of anything like it before. I've heard of down-syndrome, autism, ADD, rhetts syndrome and other more common things. I very vaguely remember maybe hearing about it in my child development class my senior year of High School. I remembered that folic acid was important to pregnancies and helped lessen the risk of a neural tube defect. But that's all I remember. And I hadn't associated it with Spina Bifida until later.

Acceptance

This has been my biggest challenge. Accepting the fact that my son isn't and will never be completely 100% healthy is a struggle that just isn't easy. I still have trouble accepting it sometimes. It's hard to accept something that you wish you didn't have to. I wish Noah didn't have to go through this. It still doesn't seem completely fair. But over the past 10 weeks, it's gotten a lot easier. If you were born with red hair or something seemingly uncommon you'd learn to accept it because it's a part of what makes you special. Without red hair you may not feel quite like you anymore. Maybe red hair isn't the best thing to compare this to.. but you get the point.

Noah may have Spina Bifida... and this may seem like the end of the world now. But once he is born he'll still just be Noah. Even though the effects of Spina Bifida will be noticeable. I made this little boy and even though he's going to have challenges, he's still mine. He can't do anything about his problems... so it's just going to have to be something we all learn to accept as a family. And as long as we're in this together I know we can do it.

Positivity

Being positive is a lot easier said than done.. but my level of positivity at 20 weeks.. versus 30 weeks has dramatically increased. This goes along with acceptance. After hearing the diagnosis my heart was broken about all of the things he wouldn't be able to do. Like play soccer, run, jump- things like that. But with a lot of reminders from Steven, I've learned to instead focus on the things he hopefully WILL be able to do. Like give hugs and kisses, smile, laugh, play, clap, wave, blow kisses, paint, write, play video games, read a book, splash in water, feed himself, give high-fives.. there are LOTS of things he'll still be able to do. And THAT is what is important. Not focusing on what he can't do. Remembering all of the things he will do. Even though it's hard to always stay positive... it really helps.

Bonding

You know what else has come a long way in these past 10 weeks? How much I've bonded with this little guy. It's crazy how attached you can become to someone you've never even met before. I love him to death. His hiccups never fail to make me smile. He moves so much and it's just a constant reminder of how blessed and lucky we are. He proves to us every day that he is strong and stubborn. Just like the both of us.

I could cry just thinking about not having him in my tummy right now. We would have missed out on so much. All of his rolls and hiccups and punches, decorating his nursery, having the baby shower. It literally breaks my heart. I'm glad that we were dedicated to staying open-minded and considered all of our options.. but gosh.

I honestly think I would be completely miserable right now without him. Life just wouldn't be the same. He's inspired us all so much and we are so proud of everything he's overcome already. He's truly our miracle baby and I'm so glad he's still with us.

Keeping Faith

When I thought that ending my pregnancy would be the kindest thing to do for my son.. I prayed every night that God would take him from us. That God would be the one to take Noah into heaven and give him a better life free from his disability. I prayed that he would do it so we wouldn't have to. I knew I couldn't go through with hurting my son, and if it was the right thing to do I wanted it to be up to him. And God never did. I was so angry at God for letting this happen to Noah. It seemed so unfair to let us believe we were incapable of having children and then he blessed us with one that would have problems all his life. I felt like I was being punished and wanted absolutely nothing more to do with faith.

Now when I pray every night, I thank God for not listening to me. For making me decide by myself and helping me becoming a better person for never losing my faith and instead trusting God instead. God didn't take Noah into heaven and it was because he had a bigger plan for Noah. A bigger plan for us and our family.

I've never felt closer to God. And simply because he has given me an angel.

I know that on the days when I don't feel strong, I'll look at little Noah and see that he's always being strong. Noah is already much stronger than me and Steven combined. On the days when it'll be hard seeing Noah miss out on doing things other children can do, I know that Noah will still find a reason to smile. Simply because he can. He's going to experience so much at such a young age. Even as a little one cooking, he still never ceases to amaze me.

Appreciating our Blessing

Sometimes I wonder why God chose us to be Noah's parents. I'm only 19 years old and Steven is only 21. I had planned on graduating college to become a teacher. I thought teaching was my destiny. I figured that if I couldn't have children it would make me a really good teacher because I care about kids so much. Even if they aren't mine. I thought that was God's plan for me. It was my way of being positive about not being able to conceive my own child. Now there is a good chance I'll never be able to graduate college. If I do, I may never be able to hold a full-time job because of all of my responsibilities as Noah's primary care-giver.

Steven never wanted to work in a warehouse his whole life. He wanted to go to school for welding and this was just a job that was getting us by. By sticking with this job he'll eventually have really great benefits, but it just sucks knowing that this is most likely it for him. Maybe someday he'll get to switch jobs and do something different. But for right now we need him to keep moving up the ladder.

People say that having a child puts a halt to all of your big dreams and plans. But having a special needs child really does. Finding a daycare or preschool that will work with Noah's needs will be a huge challenge and I'm prepared to be the one with him all the time to care for him. I don't mind. I'd gladly give up anything for him, it just makes me wonder why us?

But then I wonder if God gave us Noah because he knew how much we'd appreciate actually being able to have a baby. And he figured that we'd be so thankful that we would appreciate Noah, disability or not. Which is very true. We had considered adopting and IVF in the future. So this was such a miracle. And I think it definitely makes us appreciate Noah even more than we would have if he was perfectly healthy.

I wonder if God saw the amount of love that Steven and I have for each other and wanted a child with disabilities to go to a family full of love and laughter like ours?

Even though I wish Noah didn't have Spina Bifida, I'm so glad he went to a family who will love him no matter what. If I've learned anything from these past 10 weeks... it's to leave it up to God. He has a plan and he chose us for a reason. Noah will have everything he needs and more, including lots of love and hugs and kisses.

The Next 10 Weeks

That is, if we make it 10 weeks. Spina Bifida C-Sections are usually scheduled at 37 weeks. Which means we could only have 5 weeks left. Oh gosh. Even though I'm not 100% sure what to expect.. I still can't wait to meet our little baby. Every day we are already one day closer to meeting him. The day that I get to hold him for the first time will be absolutely amazing. We both love him so much and cannot wait for this crazy journey of ours to really start.

Baby Shower Yesterday!

I haven't been able to update at all recently due to lack of internet so it's been a couple weeks. Things that have happened recently are:

• I hit the 30 week mark in this pregnancy :) This means only about 7-8 weeks left. Yikes.
• It's officially been 10 weeks since we found out about Noah's diagnosis. I plan on writing a blog post to track these past 10 weeks and everything we've gone through within them. It's been pretty rough at times but also amazing. Be expecting this post soon. 
• We had our Baby Shower!  

So here is my rant about the baby shower :)

It was PERFECT. It was hosted by my Mom's cousin Shirley. I think that makes us second cousins.. but I'm not for sure. Family relationship lingo confuses me. She did an amazing job. I asked my Mom one night if she was someone who was reliable and could be trusted and I really ate those words. Everything was organized and perfect. My Mom was also a huge huge help. She paid for all of the decor and games and the room. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful Mom who wanted the shower to be perfect for Steven and I. Noah is so blessed to have her for a grandma. I'm so glad a good amount of people could make it! I really thought nobody was going to show up, but people did! We've had such a great support system during our whole pregnancy and it was amazing to see everyone in person all at once. I've missed all of my work friends, friends from High School and family members I hadn't seen in a while. My sister Gwen helped so much and has honestly been my right hand, go to girl, for this whole pregnancy. My best friend also came with cupcakes, an awesome gift, AND helped with games. Seriously couldn't ask for a better best friend. I can't wait to do the same for them someday. It was perfect. How did I get so lucky to have such amazing people help us have the most amazing shower ever?! 

I really felt like one lucky Mama! And Noah was one happy squirmy little baby too! Moved the whole time. Steven looked so handsome and met all of my friends and family. If I could go back and change one thing... it would be that Steven's family was there. It would have meant a lot to him. And literally nobody from his side showed up. And my family is much smaller than his. :( Maybe it was just bad timing.. but I know it was a bummer for him. I'm so glad he considers my family his family too. I know that helped. I really wanted this to be OUR shower. He helped make the little guy too after all. I love co-ed baby showers. They feel so modern and non-traditional. There were quite a few guys there too which was awesome. I even got Steven a baby shower present. A diaper backpack. Like a diaper bag.. but in backpack form. He seems to like it.

We got a TON of gifts! And it was all stuff we genuinely needed. I was so overwhelmed. People must have spent so much money on this little guy I'm cookin'. It really helped us out though. I haven't been able to work because of the high risk pregnancy and now we both feel so much more confident in being prepared for him. There are only a few things left for us to get and that is SUCH a good feeling. It couldn't have worked out any better.

Now for the sappy part...

We had originally planned for a shower in June. Actually June 15th to be exact. I would have been 21 or 22 weeks along. We wanted to go ahead and get it over with so we'd have extra time to get all of the rest of the stuff we needed for the baby. We planned the shower before we even knew what the sex of the baby was. I had already gathered addresses for invites and everything. Then we found out about Noah's diagnosis. Whenever we were considering ending the pregnancy the baby shower was out of the option. It was something I was looking forward to experiencing for the first time and now it wasn't going to happen. I had it in my head that I would never prepare for Noah, have a shower for him, hold him, ANYTHING. Of coarse most of you have read my post about our hard decision of whether or not to keep him or end the pregnancy... and it was honestly the most torturous experience of my life. So many thoughts running through my head. We obviously decided to continue the pregnancy. Pretty much up to this point it has been nothing short of a huge roller-coaster of emotions for Steven and I. WAY more good days than bad though. But I'll elaborate on that more in a different post.

To sum it up though, this shower meant a lot to me. It was something I just never thought would happen. PLUS it was the one of the days where I could completely forget about stupid Spina Bifida. I got to celebrate the fact that the sweet little angel in my belly will be arriving soon. Disabilities or not, he is still a baby. Who deserves a shower and gifts and to just be celebrated. There was no mention of Spina Bifida. Well except when I recieved a Bumbo Chair as a gift and announced that it could be made into a baby wheel-chair.. which I was okay with. I think they are adorable and if Noah needs one, well now we have it :) Oh except I was an idiot and didn't realize that the family member who bought it for us didn't know about Noah's condition. Woops. But other than that I just really appreciated treating this pregnancy just like every other healthy pregnancy. We are so incredibly blessed and thankful.