Saturday, September 15, 2012

A letter to Noah from Mommy


Dear Noah,

Right now you are rolling around in my tummy probably sucking on your little hand or foot. Daddy and I have noticed that seems to be your favorite activity lately because of all of your ultrasounds. In only 9 days you will go through a huge change. No more cozy, cuddly, warm tummy. No more hearing my heartbeat or enjoying how yummy what I had for breakfast was. You will just be sleeping away or hanging out in my tummy as usual and then some unfamiliar voice will take you out and bring you into this big crazy world. Being a baby it's okay to be helpless and scared... don't worry you won't remember any of this part anyways later in life anyway. We've shared this tummy of mine for 9 whole months now and it's a big big change. For both me and you.

But goodness.. I just can't wait to meet you. Daddy and I have stayed up for countless hours feeling you move and enjoying how wonderful being pregnant with you is. We've never experienced anything like it before in our lives. You love the sound of your daddy's voice... we can tell. You get so excited when he comes home and you hear him. We love that. I will never get tired of feeling you sit on my bladder or have hiccups at awkward times of the night. Getting up to go to the bathroom has become second nature to me and waking up to feel the soothing rhythm of your hiccups only reassures me that you are doing okay.  Needless to say, Mommy is a little scared too. Sometimes I just sit and stare at my tummy and imagine what life is going to be like with you here. I'm so excited to see your sweet little face. The ultrasound technicians have already told us many times that you have a bunch of hair and chubby chubby cheeks :)

Lately you failed two non-stress tests and passed two as well. We are so so so proud of you for passing these last two. You are the toughest little guy we know. The first time you passed... guess what Mommy and Daddy did. We fist bumped. Normal adults would probably hug or just smile... nope. Not us. We definitely fist bumped. Both times. I'm sure after you are born and go through your surgeries we'll do the same as well then.

In your weekly ultrasounds... guess what you've been doing. Playing with your toes! I know you may not be able to feel your little toes. But it sure is cute. And reminds us that you'll most likely have a good sense of humor just like Mommy and Daddy! Who needs toes anyways? They're more fun to play with than anything! You also suck on anything you can find in my tummy. Toes, arm, thumb, anything! I can't wait to be able to feed you. I'm sure my little chunk will have a good appetite and I can't wait. 

My favorite moments from this pregnancy: 

Listening to your heart beat.  I'll never forget the first time me and Daddy heard it. I could tear just thinking about it. As a Mother there is absolutely no better sound in the world. Now my next happy moment like that will be the first time I hear you cry. It will be such a beautiful moment. I'm sure I'll be crying louder than you will be. Thinking about it melts my heart so much.

When I first felt you move. I was 18 weeks and I remember it perfectly. I was sitting at work and I can't even describe it. I just felt you. It was very soft and subtle. But I knew exactly what it was. I couldn't wait to share this feeling with Daddy. He felt you soon after. You've always been strong and good at letting us know you are there and doing somersaults! 

Your first hiccups! You silly baby, woke me up at 8 in the morning with what felt like a little drum beat. I'm sure you've had hiccups prior to this... but this was Mommy's first time feeling them. Now you get hiccups after every single time I eat. I think you get excited and try to suck or "eat" the fluid around you and get hiccups. Like I said, Mommy's little chunk :) I can't wait to see how adorable you are with the hiccups once you are out of my tummy. I sit and picture it all the time.

Day-dreaming about what you will look like. I don't care if you have red hair, blue hair, black hair, ANYTHING! Life is all about surprises and I'm sure you'll surprise us once you are born! I picture you with dark brown thick hair like Daddy. Sometimes I picture you with blonde hair like I had when I was born. Or maybe with light brown hair like me now. I bet you have Daddy's big lips :) And my bigger eyes. Due to dominant genes... I'm betting brown hair and brown eyes. But we'll see. I'll absolutely love you no matter what. We just want to meet you already! The suspense is killing us.

What I can't wait for:

When you grab onto my finger for the first time. I love looking at pictures of little babies doing that and it's always been something I've looked forward to.

Holding you! To feel your little body all cuddled up against mine. I can't even imagine it. I've rarely ever held babies before and I'm sure I'll be in for a sweet surprise when I first get to hold you. I'm sure it will be something I'll never forget.

Seeing that you recognize my voice. You hear my laugh, cry, sing, and everything in between. Once you realize that I'm your Mommy and know the sound of my voice... *sigh* I just can't wait.

When you get to meet the rest of your family. Grandma, Aunt Gwen, Great Grandma Nana, and all the rest. I can't wait to show off how precious you are. Expect lots of random cuddles.

Even when you get to meet Toby :) I hope you both get along. Steven and I joke all the time about how funny it would be if you hated dogs. Your whole nursery theme is puppies and lots of your clothes include little dogs and puppies as well. I'm sure you'll like them though.. we secretly dream of you becoming a vet. No pressure or anything ;)

Overall, we just love you Noah. 

If you can't already tell.. maybe someday you'll look back and read these blog posts and realize how much having you has impacted our lives. Our first pregnancy and baby. The first time we've ever experienced these things and feelings. I can't even put into words how much I love you. It's a crazy feeling to love someone so much that you've never even met. I wouldn't take back this whole experience (even the not so good parts) for the entire world. I can't believe our journey is coming to an end. I've been pregnant with you for a whole 9 months now. Doesn't even seem possible. Sometimes it doesn't even feel real how soon you will be here. It has all flown by so quickly. It's an experience I never want to forget.

Having you will be the best and most wonderful thing Steven and I do with our lives. Always always always remember that.

I love you to the moon and back little one. 

-Mommy


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