Horrible Realisation.

A few days ago I was thinking about Noah and reading some blogs and came to a realisation...

Everyone else's diagnosis for themselves or their child is only between two or three vertabra. For example Lumbar region (L) 2nd Vertabra-3rd Vertabra. Making it L2-L3. Or Thoracic region, T-12/L2.

So why was Noah's T-12 all the way through L5? That's 6 vertabra instead of two or three. I've never even heard of anything like it.

I assumed that it was because that was where his "bubble" was covering and they couldn't tell if the lesion was in the middle or top of the bubble. And maybe it was so large because he is so small.. and overtime it would show that it was just between two or three. But because of the lack of information I had found online, I decided to call my doctor and maybe she could explain and give me some peace of mind about it.

She informed me that this WAS how big his lesion was. It may not be affecting all of his spina cord, but for right now that is his official diagnosis.

I know that there is nothing I can do to change this now. I know that Spina Bifida is a rollar coaster and sometimes you hear good news and sometimes you hear bad news. I'm fully aware of that, but to be honest.. this just stinks. I don't even feel like my pregnancy compares to other SB mom's now. Reading other blogs was the only thing I thought could prepare me for all that Noah might have to face, but honestly... I have absolutely no idea what to expect now. This means his chances of walking are pretty much shot. Poor sweet Noah :(

I feel like a fool for not realizing that this was what it meant, I guess I just wanted to think and hope for the best. I know that nothing is for sure until he is born and I have found a few cases where the doctors were wrong about the size of the lesion or placement. And the babies proved eveyone wrong. And are doing VERY well and are smart and beautiful and happy. Dear God please let that be the case for Noah.

All that we can do now is try to stay strong and positive and pray.

I'm going to screen shot the examples that I found, they seem to give me hope and make this a lot easier. I  JUST want what is best for my sweet baby. I know we can't give up hope, we need a miracle.

Feel free to click on the picture to make it larger.

This story inspires me so much. Wonderful parents and a beautiful little girl. It just goes to show you can NEVER really give up hope.