I read threw Noah's online medical history earlier because I'm trying to find some better doctors for him. I had to log onto mine and add him as my dependent. My history said, "young pregnant first time mother" "high risk pregnancy" "spina bifida defect on fetus" "anxiety".
Noah's was a much longer list that included, "paralysis" "no movement in lower extremities" "water on brain" "birth defect" and many more.
I know he has all of these things. But to read them. That's different. It's the butterflies in your tummy followed by a "drop" feeling, like when you go down on a big roller-coaster, and then a feeling that makes you want to throw up.
Why does my child have to endure this? While other's are allowed to be healthy?
Noah wants to sit up and crawl so bad. His body won't let him. I can't even begin to explain how hard it is to watch. How can you accept something that hurts your child? I will never accept Spina Bifida. I will however accept that Noah has it and his life will be very different. Even though I wish it wasn't this way. *sigh* I might post a happier blog later. Sorry for the dreary post.
Your Noah is just beautiful. Those big chubby cheeks remind me so much of my Caleb when he was a baby (he's 7 1/2 now). I just wanted to share a blog post I did a couple of years ago: http://themclellands.blogspot.com/2011/01/taking-scenic-route.html
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you are feeling and going through. I've been there.