We waited all night the night before for a phone call from our High Risk Specialist to get the "go ahead" for the C-Section on the 28th. After not recieving any call or update we started to worry and wonder why after being so reliable during our pregnancy Dr. Greiner had suddenly lost contact and we had no idea what was going on. We started our morning and had breakfast when my Mother called.
Dr. Greiner had called her and filled her in on what had happened...
For some reason she didn't have my number so she called my Mother instead and informed her that Mercy never sent the amniotic fluid to be tested further after we found out his lungs weren't mature. She explained that she was very upset about the incident and apologized for not having any answers as to why it didn't get sent and was instead, wasted.
She gave me three options...
1st option: Perform another amniocentesis.
Although it wasn't entirely unbearable.. I really didn't want to do it again. The risks of something going wrong like my water breaking, bleeding, and hurting Noah were much greater.
2nd option: Wait a few weeks and deliver Noah in St. Louis.
It seemed like the safest option. He wouldn't be harmed and his lungs would be ready. Only downfall is that not all of our families would be there and Steven wouldn't be able to drive from Springfield to St. Louis after work every night to see him like he would if he was delivered at Mercy.
3rd option: Go ahead with the C-Section today and hope for the best.
In this situation, we would be going into it blind. With no clue if Noah's lungs would be ready or not. But my family would be there and we would be getting it over with.
Our decision was to take our chances and deliver later that day...
So once more we said some prayers, packed up our hospital bags, took some last minute pictures and headed towards Mercy Hospital, still not knowing what to expect.
Family arrived and we were admitted to our Labor and Delivery room...
Once we were in our room things began to move very quickly. We were in a smaller room than last time and just knowing that this was happening FOR SURE had me shaking and more nervous than I've ever been in my entire life. Before I knew it they brought in a hair cap for me and scrubs for Steven. The nurse was explaining what we were going to do whenever we went back for the C-Section and I just kept thinking.. what? We've only been here for like 10 minutes. Give me a second to breathe. I went to the bathroom before they took me back just to try to give myself some time to think and prepare mentally for what was about to happen. I had waited 9 long months for this day and now it was moving by faster than I could even take in.
I said goodbye to my family and walked with two nurses into the surgery room..
On our walk back to the C-Section room I repeated over and over... I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. I'm not sure I can do this. The nurses laughed and said that everything would be okay. They see tons of c-sections a day. Back to back all day every day and to them it's not a big deal at all. Having never had a surgery before in my life, my opinion was a little different. I was very nervous. I couldn't control my body from shaking and I just remember not feeling like myself at all. Like I was in a dream and just wanted it to be over with or slow down so I could process it at least. The room was very silver and cold. The worst mistake I made was looking around and noticing the tools that were to be used for the operation. The knives and tong like devices.
The nurse had me sit on the edge of the table to prepare for the spinal tap. Then we started..
I was still shaking and extremely nauseous. I sat on the table for what felt like forever. The nurses then began to laugh and inform me that nobody even paged the anesthesiologist! Yeah really funny guys! I'm just sitting here about to have a heart attack and nobody called her! What if they left a knife in me or something? She finally came in and we started. The poor little nurse that was in the L&D room with me offered to hold my hands while the needle and medicine were inserted and I nearly ripped her hands clear off. Mainly I was just nervous and the thought of being numb and not able to move really freaked me out. She said the anesthesia would take effect almost immediatly and they would lay me down as soon as possible.
I felt a rush of numbness race through my feet and legs...
I asked for Steven and right as I looked over he walked through the door with a big reassuring smile on his face. I was reminded that even though the C-Section was scary... the reward would be our son. And once more, I couldn't wait. He held my hand tight and sat down beside me. I felt tugging and pulling on my upper stomach. I was only numb from about the belly button down. From that point on I just kept saying... I'm going to throw up. I feel like I'm going to throw up. The anesthesiologist was my best friend during the procedure. She pumped my IV full on anti-nausea medicine the entire time and it helped a lot.
We waited and listened intently for the sound of a cry...
The surgeon said, "Okay one big push and he'll be out." I felt the pressure and immediatly we heard a big loud beautiful cry. Our son made it. He may have had a tough road up until this point and from this point on... but all that I needed to know was that he made it through the birth. His lungs were just fine and that was amazing. Steven and I looked at each other in amazement as they continued sewing me up. We both cried and held hands so tight with huge smiles. We were crying just as much as Noah was. Maybe even more. The nurses took him to the open incubator and evaluated him and cleaned him up a little. He scored a 8, 9 on his Apgar score and the nurse yelled out, "He's kicking his legs and his bubble is covered with skin!" I knew that him kicking wasn't a sure indicator of anything... but what suprised me was that his bubble wasn't "blister like" like we thought it was.
Steven went over to see our Son for the first time...
The nurses were crowding Noah and Steven joined them soon after. I asked Steven, "Does he have all of his body parts? Two eyes, ears, all his fingers?" He replied back, "Yes and he's wonderful." One nurse told Steven to take a picture and bring it back over to me and show me. He did. I kept saying go back over and take another and show me! I couldn't get enough. Then the nurse wrapped him up and let Steven hold him and bring him over to me. We stared in amazement at our baby. The baby we had waited so long fo. The baby we stayed up nights worried and praying about. He was here. In Daddy's arms and beside Mommy. Our family was complete and there was absolutely no better feeling in the world. There are barely even words to describe it. It's an experience I know neither of us will ever forget.
Back to our L&D room for Mommy's first turn to hold Noah...
They transfered me onto a bed and rolled me into our Labor and Delivery room to make sure my vitals were remaining stable. Dr. Sami (Neurosurgeon) came in and said that he looked at Noah and was willing to go ahead and take him into surgery right away because he didn't have any other plans for the day. We agreed to it and signed some paper work. Then they rolled Noah into my room. I couldn't stop smiling. Our families were in the room and got to see me holding my baby for the very first time. I gazed in absolute amazement. Once again, no words. Impossible to describe. It was everything I had every imagined and more. He was so beautiful and sweet. I couldn't believe that just this morning this sweet little angel was in my tummy. I still can't believe it.
My fears and doubts were washed away...
The moment I laid eyes on him. Just seeing him gave me all the strength I knew I'd ever need. I knew I would move mountains for this child and I still would. I have no doubts about it. Concieving, carrying, and delivering Noah has changed my life forever. When I got pregnant I was just a girl. I never knew any pain. Any real hardships. I finally felt like a woman after seeing my son. A mother. I've experienced greif, heartbreak, sorrow, depression and lived to tell the tale. I would do it all over again for this little guy. I've also experienced love like I've never experienced before. Strength. Passion. Gained knowledge and wisdom. And he is so worth it. Noah went through his first surgery at only a couple hours old. We smiled all the way into the NICU and never let anything get us down. Leg movement or not.. our blessing was now in the world and life was just perfect.
Congrats on your precious son! He's perfect.
ReplyDelete