Counseling

We had a session of counseling just to make sure we're doing okay emotionally with everything. I'm not very good at opening up about my feelings with people I don't know very well. So I figured this appointment might be long and awkward.. but actually it was awesome.
Our counselor Leigh was very nice and at first I was a little drawn back, but Steven and I both opened up very quickly about our emotions. We talked about how hard the first 2 months were after the diagnosis and deciding whether or not to terminate the pregnancy and how we over-came those challenges and worked together to make the best decision for ourselves and our son. We talked about the friends and family who have been amazing and supported us, and the people who went the other way and have hurt us instead.

This was probably our biggest discussion. It seemed like the people who were were so sure would be there for us were our biggest and worst critics. Leigh actually got noticeably upset when we told her about what we've dealt with and told us to keep them completely away from us.. and only surround ourselves with positive, supportive, loving people. As much as I'd love to take her advice I've just decided that being the better person and ignoring it would be best for all of us. Not everyone is going to be nice throughout this whole journey and if I don't let it get to me, then they gain nothing from it.

We talked about how wonderful it is to prepare for him and set up his nursery. How we love and appreciate every milestone he's conquered so far. Just everything. Talking about it and being honest really made me feel good. I'm not ashamed for what I went through. I'll admit my mistakes and struggles. We also told her that we decided to be 100% honest with Noah throughout his lifetime and never keep his complete journey away from him. Even the bad parts. He's our miracle baby and will be reminded of that often :)

In the end our counselor ended up crying.

Yes, crying. She hugged us and teared up and said she was so proud of us. The day we had our appointment also happened to be her birthday. She told us that talking to us made her day. She deals with so many people on a daily basis, I could not believe we made that big of an impact on her. It was wonderful to hear that we're handling everything well. I'm always afraid that I worry too much, but to hear from her that I wasn't.. made me feel pretty good. Her biggest point was that if I wasn't worrying at all, it would make me look bad.. so if worry too much makes me look bad too then who cares! At least knowledge is power and I'm not being an idiot about everything. I'm a concerned mother and always will be because I love him. Nothing wrong with that.

She told us to come back with Noah and visit her and she wanted to meet up and chat sometime. Noah is inspiring people with his story already and he's still just a little thing trying to cook :) I love him so much and I'm already so proud to be his mother.