28 Week Update

While updating this.. I'm actually technically 29 weeks along. But I still don't have Internet at the house yet. So sorry this is a little behind.

Here are some cool new things that have happened in week 28:

• Noah had the hiccups for the first time! And according to our baby book this was the exact week most babies first get the hiccups. Yay :)
 
• Noah is recognizing his name. This isn't exactly a proven fact...but he rolls and hits every single time we say Noah and then we laugh. So it just seems like a fun little game now.. but maybe he'll remember and recognize it outside of my belly. Genius baby!

• My belly button has gone crazy. People laugh and point it out through my shirts.. and I have just gotten to the point where I say, "Yeah... don't ask. It's doing it's own thing." Because is seriously has. I would consider my pre-preggo belly button as an "innie-outie" and since it's kind of both.. it's not sure what to do now. It's not completely poked out.. but it wants to be? I don't know.. don't ask.
 
• Maternity pictures were done this week :) I have a picture of one in the post below this one. They were done by my sister and she did an awesome job :) Couldn't be more pleased with how they turned out. We're going to do some more casual ones soon too.

• Baby shower is in a few weeks! I'm excited and nervous. I'm so glad people are excited to go and it seems like there will be a pretty good amount of people who will be able to make it.. which is awesome! The last party I had for myself was in 6th grade and only one of my friends showed up because it was during an ice storm. So fingers crossed that this one turns out to be a hit :) 

Since we had all of our doctors appointments at once in the beginning of July, this month has been nice and relaxing. I like getting them all done at once. Instead of being nervous for appointments, I've been able to relax and enjoy being fat and happy! Oh. Another update to add to the list:

 

I EAT ALL THE TIME!

 

I read in our baby book that Noah is starting to pack on the pounds and is on his way to becoming a chunky squishy pink baby.. therefore my job is to make sure I don't eat us out of house and home. For some reason food just seems so appealing lately! I can't eat big meals because I feel like my stomach is going to explode.. so instead I snack on little meals.. ALL THE TIME. I feel like I'm a non-stop eating machine! Yikes! At least I'm keeping it healthy though.. and I don't have a sweet tooth whatsoever... but still!

 

If someone wanted to bring me Jimmy Johns.. I wouldn't oppose.

Maternity Pictures

I honestly think the best thing for parents of a Spina Bifida baby is to treat their pregnancy just like every other healthy, normal pregnancy. Most days I wake up and don't even think about his diagnosis. It's finally become a "normal" part of my pregnancy and instead on focusing on the bad things, I'm in preparation mode for Noah to get here.

Which includes... Maternity Pictures :)

There will be a slideshow at the baby shower that I'm using to put pictures of me and Steven on. I'll have some of as babies, childhood pictures, our couple pictures over the last three years, and now our maternity pictures. It's so much fun to see how much our lives have changed within the last three years. And I LOVE looking at pictures of baby Steve! So precious. I feel like I'm looking at pictures of Noah. I just assume he'll be a little mini-me of Steven.. but we'll see.

Wheelchairs.

Let's just stop and consider what life would be like for Noah if he is in a wheelchair for life . .

No. I am not losing hope.

No. I am not losing faith.

Yes. I am praying for and believing in a miracle.

I am saying there is an elephant in the room so let's take a good hard look so we can all move past it.

As I have said more than once, God's miracles take all forms - so let's consider another type of miracle. . .

Regardless of whether he walks or not, I want our son to be a light in this world. I want him to be the cute, down-to-earth little boy who is a friend to everyone. The boy his friends turn to when life sets them back.

I want my friends' children to be better people for having known and played with and grown up with Noah.

Being in a wheelchair would mean a life lived on stage.

There are many people who pass us by everyday whom we never notice. But a handsome little boy in a wheelchair with a bright smile and heart filled with hope? Now that is a person you would remember.

Picture your typical children's Christmas program. Picture a cute little boy standing at the microphone singing silent night. Cute right?

Now picture that cute little boy singing silent night from a wheelchair. Well. That would be something.

To be in a wheelchair is to have a different set of opportunities and responsibilities.

I want my son to be a miracle.

To be someone who inspires and uplifts.

The boy who gets elected Student Body President on a write-in campaign because he is too humble to actually run for office.

I want my son to be the young man who pursues the job of his dreams and when people tell him that he has been an inspiration to them, he cocks his head and wonders what the big deal is.

I want my son to be the type of person who makes the world a better place - an inspiration - a miracle.

And I want those miracles regardless of whether he is standing up or sitting down

Thoughts.

Imagine you were a marathon runner who ran every single morning for years. Running was your life. One day you get hit by a car and become paralyzed from the waist down. You lose control of your bladder and bowels and of coarse, your legs.

Would you rather have know what was like to run and walk and then lose that ability, or never be born with the ability to walk at all?

If you never knew what it was like, you would never know what you have lost.

If you lose that ability after living with it for years, at least you got to experience the ability at some point in your life.

Which would be more upsetting? If you had the choice what would you choose?

I can't decide which I would choose. I guess that's why God doesn't give us a choice. Either we can or we can't. We just have to accept life either way. Just a random thought that popped into my head today. Hmm. Something to contemplate.

Inspiration

Here are a few of my favorite quotes lately.

"Anyone can give up. It is the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength." -Anonymous

That is true strength, but luckily it isn't strength that I have to conjure up on my own. For if it were, I would have quit a long time ago. It is the strength that only comes from God.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." - Psalm 73:26

“Part of the problem with the word 'disabilities' is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted. But what of people who can't feel? Or talk about their feelings? Or manage their feelings in constructive ways? What of people who aren't able to form close and strong relationships? And people who cannot find fulfillment in their lives, or those who have lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy, no love? These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities.”
Fred Rogers

Update: NICU, Counseling, Ultrasound

Due to lack of Internet I haven't been able to update much. The three posts under this are all fairly long and describe what's been going on lately.

This past week we had our NICU visit, first counseling visit and 7 month Ultrasound. It's been a rough week... a lot of things going on at once. And we didn't receive very good news during our last ultrasound.

Noah's arrival is getting closer and closer. Prayers are still much needed.

7 mo. Ultrasound Update

Right now we only have a few months left until Noah arrives. So as long as nothing gets WORSE, we'll be prepared for everything we'll have to face with him. We constantly pray for stable ultrasounds. No news is good news at this point.

Here is what we found out:

• Noah's fluid in his brain has gotten worse. :(

This can be a bad thing or a kind of alright thing depending on how you look at it. If his fluid escalates after his spine surgery then he'll be having the shunt surgery during his NICU visit. If not, he'll come home and I'll be on constant watch for the fluid worsening. The shunt is irreversible and they don't want to perform the surgery unless it's absolutely necessary. Even though 85% of SB children need one. I'd prefer if he had the surgery while we were there instead of being readmitted a few weeks later. This was something I was dreading hearing.

• His bubble is still intact and hasn't gotten bigger.

Our pediatric neurosurgeon said that if the bubble bursts it makes no difference. However, our High Risk Specialist thinks that it could damage more nerves and spinal cord if the bubble breaks. Which is why she doesn't want me working and straining my body. So who knows. I just don't want it to burst at get worse. Seeing it on the ultrasound was actually for once a relief.

• One foot is not clubbed yet.. the other is questionable.

Noah had his little legs crossed at the ankle so the ultrasound tech couldn't get a for sure answer on his right foot. At one angle it looked a little clubbed.. but at another angle it didn't. She said if it was clubbed it would look clubbed from every angle. So we're not sure on that one. I just really wish that his feet and legs not being clubbed would be one less surgery and worry :( But it's not exactly looking that way.

THIS is the trimester that everything could take a turn for the even worse.

What has been stable to this point could all change.

• His kidneys still look fine and we know FOR SURE he is peeing into the amniotic fluid and swallowing it. Which is a sign he may not need to be cathed as a newborn. Everything could still change though. We won't know for sure until he's born.

• His heart is strong and he's still right on track as far as growing and weight go. And I've gained the right amount for this month as well.

He's pretty healthy in every other way possible besides his spine and fluid on the brain as far as we can tell. Which is a relief, but like I said before. Nothing is set in stone. I guess I'm just a little bummed about the extra fluid. It looks like so much on the ultrasound. His poor little brain just looks filled. It breaks my heart... I just want him to be okay. I know it could be worse, but nobody wants to hear bad news. I just want my little baby to be okay. Hmm.